Recall Kamal Hassan in Chachi char sau bees running through the day, changing clothes, changing appearances at the strikes of clock, singing dancing, playing, working, managing so many things at the same time. I am sure, he wouldn’t have got time to write blogs, even if he wanted to…. even if he wanted to write desperately! I was so disappointed that I am unable to keep up with blogging that one day – which had to be a Friday – the day when I, unfailingly, get into a nbd state (nbd = nervous breakdown) I left office at 5 pm (arnd 4-5 hrs before than usual timings) and used my first excuse – that my brother had an accident! People remarked that I used a trump card way too early in time! :) Well… I guess they were wrong… coz now I have net access at home! And here I am – writing again!
Its not so much of dependence on ‘wordpress’ as it is about the change in lifestyle. Life is in, what I like to call in, a fast forward mode. Remember those instances in campus, when we used to crib, “kya karein yaar… kuch interesting karne ka mann ker raha hai… etc etc..” Well, instances like these are no longer a part of my life, there are no pauses between two songs, no gaps at the end of the sentences. You are always doing something! Writing SAS codes, generating numbers, making some sense out of numbers on the excel sheets – wondering if you can sell that sense to others, talking to friends, talking to others, talking in corporate english, talking in insti lingo (trying to use all the words as much as possible), reading about crap in the newspapers, reading about that imaginery world in a fiction, cooking a healthy breakfast to survive an unhealthy lifestyle, cooking a savory at the end of the day to enliven yourself, riding a bike and singing “o humdum suniyo re… ” imagining yourself in place of vivek oberoi, watching a play/movie/documentary as a part of intellectual youth crowd of the city, dancing, singing and making merry with the friends on a friday night….
The only time I am sitting still is the time in the morning when I am in an auto on my way to office. The only time when my mind is as blank as it could be in the fast forward mode. When I can look and see a world which is not like mine. When I find an outlet in an otherwise restricted life and can see other creatures like myself – yet so very different. I see a life which doesn’t thrive on winamp, on inox, drama centres, english novels, intellectual talks, crib about managers, complaints about heirarchial workplaces, dreams about weekends, plans to visit the world… plans to reach out the world! Which world we plan of visiting I don’t know. Which world we try to understand in books, I fail to grasp.
There is an entirely different world which I stare at from the inside of the auto. When I look at metre and wonder whether it is going to cost 35/- or 40/- today. When I realise the man standing next to auto on the crossing would earn as much as the metre shows in the entire day. A begger comes to me with an unbelieveable pathetic story of how he/she has been robbed and has no money to get back to Bombay (?!), and even though knowing about beggary business, I don’t feel bad about giving her the money. If her business is about lying, my business is not too honorable either! And probably her need of money is more than mine! I feel a little less guilty by being made a fool by her. After all, we all are in the two Circles of Life. One, in which, all the animals bow to the new born king of the jungle, including the earthworms who clean up the system. And the other in which the people at the bottom of the pyramid cleans up the civilized system – by reusing the stuff being thrown or discarded away by the top layer. This is the world I get to look at sometimes when I am not too busy enjoying life, making most out of it, trying to be happy and mast.. and chill out in otherwise stressful demanding job life! :) When I am not too busy visiting beautiful places outside the city. Washing clean my sins under waterfalls, climbing mountains and hoping to get lost in the jungle of the leeches… smiling away too often, talking way too much… just so that I enjoy and chill in life….!