For those who have heard abt MBIT score, I fall in the INTP category. Which means – Introvert Intutive Thinker Perceiver. For most of my concerns, the letter T suffices. I have been told over n over again to think less! :) But s/he was right when they said, “old habits die hard”.
Love and Happiness.
The two most ill-used, misunderstood, interlinked, misleading words. I have often wonder what is it that core thing that drives us? Ofcourse, the tradition psychological answer would list a couple of driving factors – hunger, thirst, sex (a typical Baron answer). Perhaps so, but I am not very convinced by this too simplistic answer. Lets go a little deeper.
We all have heard about cultural differences and how they shape the society. For example, the USA is an individualistic society, whereas Japan is a collective society. Probably, the driving forces in the former would be achievement (n-ach), while in later, need for affiliation would drive people more. This is what books say. But I wonder, how is a new born baby trained to fall under any of the two categories. How does he develop, say, the need for achievement and not so much for afiliation? Hence what was the driving force to begin with which helped/pushed him to develop other needs (read forces) as per his training in the early years? Somehow, I always felt the one thing every single creature always need (without it being defined for it) is love. Therefore, it was probably the need to be loved that led him to the path that would have got him love which made him what he is right now. A loner. Or a conformist. (For those who pick on minute details, a loner could be a confirmist too!)
So, the next line of thought would be, what is love? A friend wisely answered that love can’t be defined. Because everyone has his/her own definition of it. Binding it in words would be a failed attempt. Agreed completely. But I have to atleast understand how the need for love is created. And then comes the factor of happiness. It seems the need for happiness creates the need for love. Because the common understanding is that if you are loved you are generally happy. And it is quite easy to see why we all want to be happy. Physiological reasons. When we are sad, we don’t feel like eating. You feel dull, don’t feel like doing anything either etc etc. Opposite happens when you are happy and gay. So probably something to do with hormones etc release which affect your body.
The only issue is, we don’t stay in binary states.
The above theory fails if you are unhappy even when you have all the love in the world, or if you are happy without being loved(by others). And we know both these instances occur in our lives more often that not.
(Is this post incomplete? I thought I would write more but I realised what I have written so far covers almost all the points. BTW, for better understanding, being loved here also means being admired, appreciated, and respected.)