Mood Swings

I m posting a mail I sent to friend n family sometime back. I want to keep it in archive of my writings so that I don’t forget what I wrote one typical afternoon in office on the day when there was little work.

(Note the flow of thoughts, its pretty interesting how one thing is linked to the next)


yaar seriously kaam kerne ka mann bhi nahi ker raha! dunno why..
its like main kuch cheezon mein fight marr sakti hun, bt dnt feel upto it.. so am ditching it..

you know what i really want? i want to go home, get a hot water bottle, and some dry fruits.. and water all beside my bed.. and pick up Ghosh’s In Antique Land, and just read it.. seriously.. with sunlight coming from the window on the other side of the bed.. actualy hopefully not in my room in my house kyonki vahan sunlight kam aati hai.. bt some other house whr there is loads of sunlight.. and a tree close to my window.. seriously kya sexy scene hoga..



aur merko ek mast blog likhne ka mann ker raha hai.. aaram se baith ker.. using a keyboard which works!

and i want to have a fundoo discussion on some issue with people.. and i want to be able to go somewhere and work hands on something.. and i just dont want to see any more excel sheets, or electricity water bills, or putty window, or people wearing nice shirts n suits.. and i just don’t want to be in an enclosed area.. i want to be in an open area.. under sunlight.. and hence not in south but north india..

aur merko grassland pe fundoo bhaagne ka mann ker raha hai.. like we used to run downhill from sameer hill towards vihaar lake – at full speed! fir us lake mein ek mast dubki lagane ka mann ker raha hai.. i have never ever swum in a lake/pond.. i have only swum in ocean or river.. which doesnt count coz the water is not static there.. so you can’t swim much… unless ofcourse you are a swimming champ!
after that i want to go to a local nearby school and play with kids there.. with someone like himanshu around like we used to in prayas.. and NOT TEACH them anything! just play.. and in that small town people can do anything they want.. ofcourse the human conflicts will never disappear completely ever, but as Chomsky puts it, there would be no animal conflicts there at least..

everything’s a mirage.. right..?

itna kuch likh rahi hun, isse pata chalta hai kitni veli hun main abhi.. you know i m listening to “where’s the party tonight” track from some new movie. and not once do i wish for going to dance floor.. not that i don’t like dance floors – in fact i love dancing of any kind… bt rt now, i just don’t feel a thing abt that kind of dance.. i want to learn the traditional folk dance of the town which i m talking abt… seriously seriously i do!!! :( i want to dance in open lands admist hills and flowers n trees and not in a closed smoke filled room… just for once..


This thread of dreams was broken when I went back to the pivot table on the excel sheet and sas window. And oh how I wish I could have continued dreaming, coz it reminded me of things I have forgotten myself! about myself.. And well, just dreaming also brought some peace in the otherwise restless mind.. And for a few moments I was taken away from robotic people and dull suffocating enviornment.

I guess my manager should read all this and load me with burdens of work!

4 thoughts on “Mood Swings

  1. recently i attended a cock-tail party in a farm house with shyam chacha in north elhi.there was well maintained green grass over a wide area.looked nice.
    work and masti are two parts of a coin.


  2. You know all of us have had dreams/thoughts like these at some point or other….but very few of us still remember them and still regret for not being able to persue them….these random but “linked” thoughts make our lives full of life….so I am happy dear for you…you are full of life :)


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