I often wonder about high achievers, about their never dying or even diminishing motivation, their constant struggle, their over-whelming (for impatients like me) patience, and their highly controlled-disciplined life. My only wonder is, how do they do it? Ofcourse, I am not looking for a traditional answer, the need to perform. I need a deeper analysis to get a satisfactory answer. Next question would, why do they do it?
I have been one of those who perform to prove once, not to maintain. Prove either to myself or somebody or many. Which means, I do almost all that the high-achievers do for a certain period of time, till I achieve it, and then phussssss… the balloon of energy/determination inflates. I don’t see a point in living in the control and freaky phase for too long. That’s why I personally give more importance to love for what you do than doing it for the sake of achieving something. To reach the state of perfection, I believe you need both the ingredients in certain proportion – you need to like what you do, and you need to be an achiever at heart (to carry you forward in those phases when your liking wavers). And if a high-achiever would say, this is exactly what we do, I would be tempted to believe him/her, but I won’t.
There is something missing in the equation. That’s because, I have seen myself, and I have seen many a times I do exactly that. I love doing what I am doing and I don’t rest until I get it all right. Until, I am satisfied about my job. Then there is a feeling of accomplishment, pride, satisfaction when I am done at the end of the day.
But, alas, the feeling dies as quickly as the soup bubble bursts. And then, I wonder. Here you would understand why I think about high achievers. I am sure for them, the feeling lasts.
I think about all those times when the feeling lasted for me. I realise, they were all those times which I spent not alone, but in company of someone. Family, friends, n strangers too in some cases. Three courses in psychology tell me, I probably have a higher need for affiliation then for achievement. It doesn’t tell enough to put out my probing. For it is a rather disturbing finding. No, I m not over ambitious, infact honestly, I don’t know if or not I m ambitious/highly-ambitious. But I know there are somethings in life that I wanna do. And I won’t be happy unless I do them.
The concern here is simple, all those things that I want to do, are meant to be done alone. And so I wonder, if I will give up without doing them/if I will again experience the bubbling satisfaction even if I carry out those activities. Because I realise that at the end of the day, the things of a totally different realm gives me a sound sleep or a sleepless night.
Jeevan ki vidambana..