Shoes

Last three months –

  1. A 10 days family trip to Kashmir and Delhi
  2. A 3 days Goa trip
  3. A 2-day trip to Pune
  4. A 2-day trip to a nearby location
  5. A 3 days trip to home on Diwali
  6. Two trips to Rajkot and Ahmedabad – 7 days
  7. Another 9 day trip

Coming up in less than a month –

  1. A 3-day trip to Pune
  2. A 2-day trip to Rajkot
  3. A 4-day trip to Bangalore

That is quite a lot of running. The one thing I excel at. I am quite good at making myself comfortable in new places for short durations. Coming back to same old house scares me. So,  I go to new houses.

Mumbai has been really kind to me.

When I was a kiddo whenever I would pray to God which would be like once or twice annually, I would ask for everyone to be happy. Everyone means the entire world. Not just my world. But soon after I realized people want conflicting things to be happy, hence it is not possible for everyone to be happy at the same time. So I went through a period of not knowing what to ask God for. I would just stand there without a wish in my mind. Then I felt life/circumstances are fair for few and not for others. So I felt for those who have been through unfair times should get the preference. So again I started praying for those who, I thought, needed more. Then things became harder. I wanted things for myself. So, I started praying for myself and those affecting me.

Recently, while talking to a friend writing his SOP about “noble” work I realized how far I have come from asking for happiness for everything to thinking only about my own well-being. I realized after many months of commuting, I don’t even care if I don’t offer my seat in the local train to an old lady standing. Isn’t commuting already hard enough in Mumbai? No one offers seat to other person. At the most, people make space for each other. And you follow social rules to maintain order. But what about acts of generosity?

Can you believe someone being reminded of noble tasks in a damn-difficult-to-survive city like Mumbai? :)

As I have said before, I m usually very hard on myself. That wastes a lot of time and energy. Spent a last few weeks/months thinking about my career, what I really want to do, my dreams, blah blah blah. In the end, my conclusion is that living is just like dancing. I mean I knew that before, just that again, I had forgotten. The music is played by outside force but the steps are your own. Either you can be all stiff and conscious or you can just flow with the tune. Dance alone or with someone or in a group. Or sometimes just stand and watch others dance. Everything works. The only thing you need to do is – hear the music. As soon as that stops, the life ends.

So, right now I am trying to take off my running shoes to fit into dancing shoes. :)

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4 thoughts on “Shoes

  1. Another nice post Anupriya..it is kind of comforting to keep reminding myself that not everything is in my control and I am not the only one responsible for my imperfect life. :)

    Like

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