Disclaimer: The following text is fictional rumblings and mumblings of mind and wanderings of heart. Any resemblance to real feeling is mere coincidence.
How often do married couples “feel” like changing their life partners?
How often do they almost break the commitment?
How often do they really break it?
How often do they bounce back into relationship?
There are so many unanswered questions. There was a time in late teens when all I wanted in life were answers to billions of questions I had about future – what am I, what am I gonna be, how am I gonna look when I am 21-22, how will my prince charming be, where all I would travel to, who all I would make friends with.. and so on. Almost all of these questions are answered! Frightening, huh? Nonetheless, there are plenty more to come :).
Isn’t it amazing how our values change as we grow up. I remember the story of nachiketa in my hindi textbook (hated hindi for all the moral knowledge it was trying to feed us!). Won’t bore you with another of twisted mythological tales, but the relevant part is about extreme will power which Nachiketa exhibited. I was completely zapped with the idea of taking control of your “indriyaan” – senses. I was like – this is the way to success/brilliance/fight death itself! You know how young minds are easily manipulated! So this was a value which I had completely internalized – should control your desires and senses. Next in line was Krishna’s sermon in Gita – don’t worry about end result. All the JEE preparation thoroughly washed away Gita’s gyaan. Never bothered about it again.
However, it was a more gradual process to leave behind the control-desires value. Oscar Wilde definitely had some role to play. My friends had the next biggest role. IIT of course. And of course the person I am. However, I am quite glad I did away with it. The latest value is – do what you do with your whole heart, no short cuts allowed, no escapes. This is quite in contrast with desires one. The new idea is to develop the desire to excel. But you know, there is certain social order which fails to last as soon as you start following your desires. And hence the questions above.
I hope never do these questions cease to last. I would make sure life always remains uncertain. :)