All those who know me a bit, know how I despise Indian traditional weddings. All those who know me well, know how much I am scared of getting married in that style. One thing is for sure, if I am gonna get married before 30, it will be in this year. So I have start changing my opinion sooner or later. As in, I have to do something about this fear factor. The mantra “darr ke aage jeet hai” doesn’t work here. Coz those who know me at all, know I despise the patriarchal structure which is embedded in our society deep within. So life after marriage – nah! thats not a piece of cake either!
Well, I have decided to take it step by step. I will only focus on “how my wedding is gonna be” to start with. Later part will be handled after this big hurdle is cleared. Thanks to Vidula, my colleague at work place who is also a youtube addict, I stumbled upon this video – Jill and Kevin wedding dance. Please take a look for I am sure you would not have seen something like this before!
I am so inspired by this video that I am not scared of weddings anymore! I got an idea now! I know, even if I have to get married in typical North Indian style, I would make my own space in the whole drama and have fun! This is my plan –
1. I would not take part in any other ceremony except that which takes place on wedding night. (Mehndi etc would be a household affair.)
2. For wedding night – there are two main things in North Indian weddings – first you have varmala (which is just something we have adapted from Kshtriya weddings/swayamvars – maybe to add pomp and style like they have had). There you have the bride coming to the stage where groom is waiting, with a garland in her hand. If you have seen the video above, you can guess what my plan is! :) Add the masala from Dev-D and you know exactly how it is gonna look like! Song abhi tak decided nahi hai – but no matter what, I am gonna dance my soul away on the way to stage.
3. After we exchange our garlands, I am gonna say my vows in my language on the stage (with a mic attached to me – would like everyone to witness – especially if they have cared enough to come to the wedding). I seriously can’t get married without even making any promises which I really mean. I mean isn’t marriage just a big promise? I can’t imagine a wedding where a pandit dictates me what to say to my future husband!! But a girl’s gonna do what she’s gonna do. So I will make my peace with the pandit if I have to. However, this will be my only wedding (hopefully!). So I will also say my vows written by mean and something which I really really mean. Hope my groom says his vows too! If he doesn’t – I would be prepared to say his vows too! :D Sometimes there are no choices… you gotta do everything by yourself!
4. After we have taken our vows – the bride is gonna kiss the groom! And I will pronounce us – husband and wife (though not publically yet!) After that I am gonna proceed to the most lavish dinner of my life. I am surely not gonna sit like a monkey on stage. So I have decided to wear a designer saree for varmala. So that I can easily roam around in the crowd – and of course eat a lot. I have decided to taste each and every item in my wedding. I have always attended weddings in which bride and groom never get to real enjoy their first meal together! That’s not gonna happen in my case for sure.
5. Since it would be a traditional wedding, most likely the phere ceremony would be fixed for some obscenely early morning hour. So I have decided to take a nap between the dinner and the early hour rituals. Also the phere wali saree would be a traditional one. Since I have sit for a while the traditional stuff would be a better choice. So basically my wedding would be 2 days and 1 night long. It would start in evening. Then you take a nap break. Wake up really early like you do when you have to catch an early morning flight. Rush to the phere (airport). Take the flight (do the phere). And reach the destination (say goodbye to folks) and whoa! You are done! You reach office – or whatever the next plan is.
Now I don’t feel that scary at all! It would be like just another catch a flight after an awesome previous night party. Now the issue is – how am I gonna survive the office!!! :D