At the end of the day

I only get time to write at night

…by which time i am quite stressed out
and with not a single positive thought in my mind….
While I m in morning bus beautiful posts run through my mind..full of hope and faith..
and when I am back in the evening and stare yet again the starkly lit screen in a dimly lit room, surrounded by the sad tune of Billy Joel’s Piano Man, with TV on mute in background and the noise of fan motor to keep my company… I really feel the world is coming to an end…
then my mind says, what if it even is…
true! exclaims a voice from inside.
Can’t really get more sad than this.. can it?
Oh yeah! Try falling sick! The voice again.
Can’t really care about that at this time.
I know this post is not turning out as it was intended to 13 hrs back. Let me give it another try.
So I m going with 2 other colleagues to CMU in june for conferences. We are also presenting a poster there. Good news eh?
Listen next.
One of other two is a young man. Super intelligent guy. Did a bachelor in Chemistry. Thats all. And is the IT head for running an intelligent tutoring system. One of those guys who love coding. And is Muslim.
His visa application got rejected.
So what is the lesson I learnt today.
Hey girl! Wake up! Smell the burn of discrimination. Smell the pain of inequality. Smell the world you have shut out conveniently. Its that damn voice again.
You know, its only the lunch time, usually between 1:30 – 2 pm every 5 days in a week when I hear/talk about things. Interact with outside world.
To talk about things like Rakhi Sawant’s swayamvar.
Big Boss (who can possible watch that crap anyways!!!! – V again)
Raj Thackeray (if u r living in mumbai and not talking about this – means you are working in a hotshot MNC with no locals around)
Plants (urban farming or should i say balcony farming?)
Evils of social customs in wedding ceremonies (3 unmarried, 1 married successful women)
The ways of younger generation (kids of 1 married woman)
More gossips from home….
Rahul Mahajan (have I got that right?)
Modi scandel
Sania Mirza Malik… etc etc…
How Muslims are different from Hindus, how none of the three ladies would like to get associated with them through marital ties (either their own or their children) and how the cultural differences legitimize such a thought! (for the record, I am not one of those 3 ladies. My first serious love at sight was a Muslim guy. Only he was accompanied by 4 women, and so I didn’t have guts to approach him… but I often visited that site later hoping to see him again… in vain!)
“I see tress are green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

I see skies are blue and clouds are bright
Bright blessed days
dark scared nights
And I think to myself – what a wonderful world”
Its that voice again. With a cynical smile. :(
Probably I m being too harsh. You don’t need to marry everyone to show you consider that person as your equal.
But presuming that a person from particular community or background or upbringing or history is not likely to make a good match for you or people you care for; is this not a blind spot one nurtures?
Isn’t such a blind spot one of main reasons why such discrimination exists and grows?
I m very sad at the end of the day.
Waiting for the sun to rise again.

One thought on “At the end of the day

  1. Is the association by marriage is prohibited only for Muslims or does it extends to any religion other than Hindu? Are your colleagues also against marrying Sikh, Christian or Buddhist?
    It is indeed myopic to pigeonhole a religion or community but reality is more nuanced than that.
    It is also that visa for your colleague was rejected – unfortunately we’ll see more of that with people in US getting paranoid about Muslims of south Asian decent. Maybe there is a silver lining to it – more talented people will stay in India.


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