To believe

What do you wanna do today?

So many things. Go to ECP and take my first lesson in sailing. Sleep under a tree afterwards.

Clean the house. Arrange the cabinets. Fold bulk of clothes lying around. Dust off my room.

Nothing as such. You tell. O ya, I need to cook some veggies for the week. But I will be done by 12:30.

O ok. Wanna go out somewhere?

I just told him I have to cook. Why is he pushing me?

As in?

As in, for a run. Or a hike.

Ya can go.

I haven’t stretched nor done myofasical release from the last one week. I need to do that too. It’s a must. When will I do that? I haven’t written anything in this month. Haven’t painted in the last many months. Haven’t finished reading any of the 2-3 books that I had started.

The other day I touched the feet of my mother-in-law asking for blessing. She blessed me with her heart “may all your wishes come true!” O my! Is that even possible?

There is no end to wishes. Before one comes true, there is a new one which is already being pursued.

Before one course goes live, another one is in pipeline.

Before one lecture’s notes are ready, another one is to be worked upon.

Before one art is mastered, I am dreaming of another one.

Before one sport is played to win, I wanna try a new one too.

Before one injury is healed off, another one is received.

New pictures to take, new blogs to write, new books to read, new movies to watch, new clothes to buy, new paths to hike on, new roads to drive on, new countries to visit, new skills to learn, the list keeps going on endlessly.

Then there are things which I must do, which are not on the list. Cook, clean, work, entertain guests, manage social circle, be there when and where required. Be responsible. Be a good wife, good friend, a good daughter, a good sister, a good citizen (keep reading news every min on twitter!).

And yet every morning, I find it difficult to get up. I lay awake waiting to move out of bed. I am unable to sit through an hour of meditation. I feel like 24 hours is too less and I am too ineffective to do everything that I want to. Forget about wishes coming true, I am not even able to try everything that I want to. I feel so exhausted, overwhelmed.

My boss in my old company, who is my only ideal in life so far, used to say, you should take up more tasks than you can manage/complete, you should dream to become great. His funda was simple. The more tasks you have in hand, the more targets you achieve. You will learn to become efficient. Tasks are inter-related in a way that we do not understand. Doing one task will, in some way or other, help you complete other task as well.

I do agree with him. It is not very difficult to try so many things at the same time. To be on your toes at every moment. The testing time is when you actually encounter a failure. To get up and start again is not very difficult. To believe in success, is.

To believe is to be non-calculative, unrealistic, crazy, unscientific, irrational.

It is the need of the hour.

From unable to run for even 5 mins, in less than 2 years, I can run non-stop for min 30 mins at any day/any time.
From unable to run for even 5 mins, in less than 2 years, I can run non-stop for min 30 mins at any day/any time.

2 thoughts on “To believe

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